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Male thinking while sitting on a wooden stoolWish list…..Looking for  gift to delight your son turning 21 or his intro to, “THE COMING AGE” or ADULTHOOD.

Shall we give? What should be our action? Think and decide what would be best for him.

 

Your Choice, His Joy


Make him leap and shout hurrah or embrace you and kiss you on your forehead.

This article is written for mothers who have a son turning 21 or whose son will turn 21 in later years. Take a look at this story before deciding.

 

Reminisce Your Son’s Past Journey


Jonathan David picture

I still remember my son, Jonathan David. On his 21st
day from birth, I rushed him to his Pediatrician for diaper rashes.

It was that time that I learned he is a yellow baby.

He was immediately confined in the hospital. Had an injection needle fixed on his left arm.

A few days later, he was discharged, still with the needle plus a small bottle tied with the needle as weight to prevent it from moving.

The needle is intended for out-patient continuation of treatment.

Injection of medicines twice a day – morning and afternoon.

The Pediatrician’s clinic is a somewhat long walk from our house or a tricycle away (one of Philippine’s traditional vehicle for short distance commuting).

My mother had to bring him to his Doctor whenever I go for an out of region work.

In between treatment, I remember, the needle which has been transferred twice to the leg due to frequent crying and movement trying to take the pain away. It was transferred once to his other arm while in the hospital. So all arms and legs had turn with a needle.

After the Pediatrician’s medication, Dermatologist came next.

It was somehow funny for me. His butt had a weekly check-up with a Dermatologist but my face, full of acne, did not have one.

It has been two decades now. I rejoice and thank God – My dear Son is turning 21.

 

Past Stories Will Strengthen You


Not anyone is tested with the same situation.

Heart breaking to see your infant in that condition and you still need to leave for work.

But we all have special graces of cultivating emotions and trust in God.

Worrying will not help. I am glad I didn’t but I fully trusted God for his healing.

You see, relying on our strength, resources and adding the weight of our anxiety, we may feel like our peace stolen from us, joy reduced too low and almost giving up.

But clinging on God or His arms holding you still, kept you getting up.

 

A Reason For Double Thanksgiving


This article is meant to help you maintain peace in your heart or grab it if you don’t have it yet completely.

Sometimes it is there, sometimes it is gone.

I tried to search for peace in education and career. It made me proud but still not really confident.

Looking for material wealth until I reached my goal did not really satisfy me. It only asked me to raise my goal to the next level. Leveraging your goals is not bad, but if it steals your joy, peace, good health and healthy relationship… better review your goals.

Most of the times, our faith is tested. The Bible says, “…the enemy is like a roaring lion, looking for someone to devour (1 Peter 5:18)”. How do you respond?

Friends and love ones offer shoulders to lean on or arms to embrace. But have you ever encountered times in your life that anyone of them is not around for you to lean on or embrace? I had.

And what if calamity take your material wealth from you?

I once had a small business. But when I had a mild stroke incident and was not yet recovering, my family ask me to give it up so I can relive myself from stress.

But stress are always there. I had more actually.

Do we have to dwell on stress? Certainly not. We only need to deal with them. Learn with progress day by day.

We are 20 years from the birth of our son. It is a sign of strength that we are standing firm and looking for gifts. A reason to double the thanksgiving celebration.

 

A New Challenge on the 20th Year


I am sharing you my stories and experiences with my son hoping to inspire you more and keep you going as mothers, no matter what. I already touched some of these on my last post, “ARE YOU A CONTROLLING MOM?

The diaper rash came back after 20 years. This time, they are thick and with pus. Too many and they covered my son’s whole body and head that he was prompted to shave his own head. Only the face was spared.

First medical check – up, we gave his doctor the thought that they were only allergies from eating too much egg and chicken. Initially, they were only occasional red spots.

Super typhoon and flood hit us, he barely could walk then with very thick rashes, peeling off skin so fast and pain through the bones. They were not yet identified by his dermatologist for good blood test results, no fever and nothing on the face.

Second check – up with dermatologist, they were named as PSORIASIS.

 

A Little Story of What is Psoriasis?


Take a look at the picture below. Let me share a little, in case you may not be aware.

psoriasis

According to medical newstoday, ” Psoriasis is an autoimmune condition that causes cells to develop rapidly on the skin. This overgrowth can lead to thick, scaly plaques that may itch or cause discomfort.” Its symptoms vary from person to person. It is being linked to the person’s immune system and what triggers them.

If you want to know more about psoriasis, try read at https://www.medicalnewstoday.com/articles/52457. I want to stick to my real topic and not get so side tracked in citing my challenges with my son before turning 21, haha.

 

Wish List Emphasis


Going back to the wish list, anyway, I think it is just normal for a loving mother to wish and give all the good gifts she can think of to satisfy at least his priorities. I see no wrong in wishing good things for our son as long as it doesn’t burden us in producing the list or gifts and the presents will not become channels to spoil our son, would you agree?

The best thing to do in my opinion is find his interests and from there let us make our gift choice according to our capacity. Let me emphasize, his interest. Not ours! Giving gift for him not for the purpose of letting him do what we want with the gift, and turning him into the kind of person we want to be.

 

Conclusion


Written in paper, gadget or heart, a mother has her own wish for her son turning 21. So I will not really make suggestions. It is you who knows your son’s needs or desires. You may dream of giving the best gifts you could ever give. Read him. Don’t insist on giving him a gift that is really intended for your own benefit. But do not exhaust yourself in trying to give beyond your capacity. He will be grateful to receive what he likes, coming sincerely from a loving mother.

If you have any questions, comments – either reactions or other opinions, please feel free to write then on the comment section below. I will be glad to communicate with you.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

10 thoughts on “Son is Turning 21

  1. What a great way to look at your son’s 21st birthday! I have 4 sons, the youngest now is age 23, so that 21st birthday is behind us. But I know the strange feeling I had with that birthday for each of them. Could they really be fully adulthood young men? 

    Like you, I have many great memories of their childhood. I shall cherish them forever. And I am ready to continue enjoying see my young men continue to grow in family men and good human beings.

    I also like the part describing psoriasis. Many people are unaware of what this is and wonder if it is contagious. Thanks for making that clear for anyone reading. 

    Also, tThanks for bringing up this important topic. As Moms, we don’t always think about these things until they actually arrive. A reminder is always good!

    1. In the Philippines, it has been part of our culture that debutants are expecting for grand celebration ( at least for those children who think that their parents can afford or some insists despite parent’s capacity). This culture may have inspired me to write this. I also read about mother’s making a wish list. I am only sharing my approach hoping moms will like the idea.

      I love how my Mom covered us with her love and continued the guidance to me and my siblings. People call it adulthood, but I see it one step ahead of our life journey. We step higher as we progressed. It gives the essence of a mentor need, as long as we live in my opinion.

      I, myself only knew psoriasis by the name. Not the symptoms, precautions or treatment. It is only last month that I really researched about it. We are now taking precautions and resting in God’s protection. If not, a mother’s tendency is to be anxious which can only boosts the symptoms. Trusting in God, I see is the best thing to do. All other precautions are just easy to follow by then.

  2. I’m sorry for the trials that your son has endured and the pain you have suffered having to watch it happen.  But you are correct that we have to trust that God always has a plan and we have to trust that it’s true.  We can look at others and see their trials as more or less than ours but the truth is that these trials are as real to them as ours are to us.  Some show on the surface, as does your sons, and some are on the inside, as is your emotional pain over your sons’ afflictions.  

    With all this, I admire your advice to give our sons what they want to celebrate their entrance into manhood, not what we want them to have.  Your selflessness shines through.  You are a wonderful parent!

    1. Thank you for seeing the reality of pain in my son’s inner being. You have the golden heart as a mother as well. You are blessed to have one. You are seeing through, are you already a Mom?

      I humbly thank you for your impression to my loving gestures with my son. I honor God in bestowing that grace to me.

      I greatly appreciate your comment, it gives confirmation on my self evaluation if I am a controlling Mom or not (https://myconqueringinconvenie…). If you are a Mom, you may also try the self evaluation template I made.

      Happy holidays!

  3. I just want to say what an awesome article you have written here. My hat is off to you for this. It was very insightful and well written. with that being said I will be sharing this with all my friends and family with kids. Thank you so much for this great article!

    Your Friend, Johnny

    1. Thank you for your commendation. Hoping the best for the parent-son relationship of those who will read and learn from it.

      Thanks a lot also for sharing it.

  4. This article is really heartwarming. That is true, taking care of yourself, or any members of your family should come first before anything else be it career or studies. And we should really value our friends and family since they are irreplaceable. They could be your shoulder to lean on. Sometimes, us being for them too is much more valuable than any material thing here in this world.

    1. I totally agree. No material wealth can ever exceed the worth of our family.

      Thanks for appreciating the article. Hoping to inspire families to be more intact.

  5. I have to say that you are truly a good mother and I really would implore all the women out there to take you as an example to follow. I mean you had to endure Lal that hardship and still be strong as a mother. Wow. I’m sure your son must be very proud to have you as a mother. Very wonderful.

    1. I owe it to God for His grace for me to sustained trials and still do my mother calling. I also would like to inspire mothers, not counting on our own efforts but in God’s help.

      Thank you for your very nice comment.

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